Hey there.

I feel like a meek, 

apologetic child,

confessing a wrong to you...

because I've come to tell you this.

I am sorry.

I failed.

I flopped.

And sadly,

and so very characteristically of me,

I lived up to my own expectations.

I told you I would do this.

You do realize that it's been 

umm.....

what now...

a month and a half? 

More?

I don't know. 

And I'm sorry.

I'm truly sorry.

Can I say what I'm sorry for?

I need it,

to give myself a small sort of catharsis.

Maybe even give you a legitimate reason for you to forgive me.

But alas,

we all know that they'll all just be excuses.

I'm sorry for not writing.

I'm sorry I let you, 

yes all four of you,

down.

I'm sorry I let myself down.

I'm sorry I fell into my own predictions.

I'm sorry that I thought I could finally stick with something.

I'm sorry that I couldn't live up to it.

I'm sorry I wasn't consistent with my Bible reading.

Oh, I am so so sorry for that.

I haven't read consistently since I stopped blogging.

You know what made me stop?

Laziness.

With a tad of sickness.

But,

mainly laziness.

But I can tell it's changed me.

I don't feel the same as when I was reading everyday.

My relationship with God doesn't feel as strong.

I feel like I've let Him down somewhat. 

The other day though, 

I had a revelation.

An epiphany really. 

I can keep blogging even though I'm behind in reading.

It seems like a facepalm moment,

I know.

It seems so incredibly simple.

Duhhh huhhh.

Why wouldn't you keep blogging just because you're behind in reading? You wanted to blog about every walk, and every day. So do it.

  Yeah.

Simple.

I just...

I don't know.

My brain was just stuck on this thought that,

I had to be on track.

That,

no one would want to hear

or that you would think less of me if I didn't blog "on schedule".

Now that it comes out as an actual thought on "paper,"

it sounds so incredibly stupid.

So yes,

 I may be

*cough cough*

four

*cough cough*

books behind,

and yes,

I may not be finishing the Bible in a year unless I majorly catch up,

but that's okay.

At least I'll be reading it all the way through.

I think that counts more than a time frame.

When I read the Bible again,

and I vow that I will,

maybe then I can put myself on a more strict time frame.

For now though,

just sticking with it is what I need to do.

Honestly,

it was re-reading Andie's back story on Can You Stay For Dinner? tonight that made my guilt reach an all new high.

It made me feel passionate to pick this up.

For about this last weekend,

I've been like "Yeah I'll pick it up again... maybe tomorrow...".

But reading her story,

made me realize that maybe mine really can help someone.

Maybe it'll matter to someone.

If not,

at least it's a diary to me.

Because honestly,

I love to look back at random diary entries I've written during middle school,

and see what and how I thought.

So, to conclude this post,

prepare yourself for a slew of Instagram photos.

And of course,

their explanations.

<3 MG 

This is when they were barely peaking out!

This is me trying to do the hair curl thing again. This time it didn't work so well. How bad was it you ask? Let's just say that it ended with me cutting one of the head bands in a frantic attempt to make it to class on time.

I had lunch with the family! This is the sick weekend I talked about earlier. They came up on a Sunday afternoon. I slept most of the day that Friday and that Saturday I literally dragged myself out of bed and to the movie theater and like 2 in the afternoon. Even then it took too much effort. Anyways, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a great movie. Not as tear jerking as I thought it would be, but still good.

My Momma is gorgeous.

I've become a real Starbucks addicted if you can't tell by the numerous times it will appear throughout this post.

I'm pretty sure I took this picture simply for the fact that the bubble looked psychedelic.

I was bored. It was laundry day. My eye hurt and was red because I got a stye. Enough said.

I think this was on the road going to Grandma's for dinner.

We were at Samurai's for Mom's birthday! Gosh... that was Feb. 12th...

Such an... interesting... family.

The salad dressing at Samurai's is the BOMB.COM

Did I mention that it's hibachi?

Hibachi chicken with double rice = the best meal evah.

Josh was lame and got noodles.

Oh you know, just creeping on Josh walking Charlie.

Annndddd this starts the small slew of how I spent my valentines. The theme? Alone with a lot of sweets. Typical.

This is why I'm glad my mother works at a store that sells delicious chocolates!

Rachel, Laura, Kelly, and I split this lovely heart shaped pizza!

I found these the other day in a jar in my dorm room. Good times, good memories :)

I was crafting it up by painting some random wooden pieces and using "watercolors" (I just put water in the paint... shhh!)

BCM Winter Formal night! This is the lovely Anna :)

And this would be Rachel and Laura, respectively.

This would be Jessica and Anna, respectively.

And then there's me.

Tennessee has the most bipolar weather. It decided to snow real big one day.

At least it was pretty.

And then it decided to be warm enough that I got a shaken Tazo tea at Starbucks instead of my winter usual of Peppermint Hot Chocolate.

It's always fun to eat dinner at 10:30 at night!

This is from the week that I had to act as secretary just about every day because Helen was out.

I was obviously productive during that time... I drew a lot of Princess Madelyn pictures.

Foxes are so boss.

Darwin the Dinosaur is the epitome of every Spanish project I had during Junior and Senior year of high school.

I've decided that if I ever get a tattoo, it will be close to this only in white ink.

Racquetball time!

The purpose of this picture is to show you the loveliness of my face after getting hit full force with the racquet ball.

Oh, if you are a stranger to my racquetball posts, this is Bradley (blue shirt), Justin (black shirt), and Savannah (tie-dye shirt).

We had a lovely night of Mexican food and movies one night.

Justin and Emily.

Savannah and Bradley.

You can't get Mexican without ordering cheese dip. It's unorthodox.

Justin only half failed at setting up the movie.

Adding to the craftiness hanging around our room :)

Stats on a Sunday night.

One of the first gorgeous days!

"I mustache you a question!"

Fishtailed my huurrrrr.

Umm yeah. A professor decided that it was necessary for me to take one of her five bags of "salad greens".

The beauty after a storm. I had been stuck in the basement for a tornado drill. Bleh.

They're growing some more!

All packed with no where to go! My parents didn't want me driving to Knoxville with impending weather doom on the forecast.

So instead, I made a storm shelter pack. Which I proceeded to forget once the alarm went off for us to actually go to the basement.

I spent the rest of the evening watching this and The Little Mermaid.

This starts my visit to Knoxville pictures. Free samples at World Market when I was visiting Paige!

The reason I drove to Knoxville. My lovely BFF from high school :)

This stuff was amazing.

Annnddd here come the Puppy Zone pics!

We went to McAlister's for lunch. I proceeded to make this with the parts of my potato I didn't eat.

They obviously loved me there.

This I found when I returned home from Knoxville. It is probably one of the most special gifts I have ever received. Even though I wasn't supposed to know who it was from, my Dad leaked that it was from the Welborns. Mr. Steve had to have surgery like I did, except his was to take care of his colon cancer. He has been through more trials and had to go through SO much more with his ostomy than me, but he still has the best mindset. We're bag buddies, we are :) But God has used us for each other as ministries. One thing my dad said that hit me was "You may not know it, but you are a ministry for him." It may not mean much to you, but it hit me. At BCM this past week, people were sharing stories of how God has blessed them over spring break by going on a mission trip to New York City. It made me think. No, I may not have done something for someone that week, but God still blessed me. Maybe, being a ministry for someone who feels helpless a bit, could help them feel better about their situation. Whether it does or not, helping him out is a blessing to me.

If you ever have the chance to watch this video series, I encourage you STRONGLY to do it. They will change the way you think, for the better of course.

Going to lunch with Mom and Grandma!

This place had the BEST chicken taco salad.

This picture marked the day when I was no longer an ENO virgin.

Joel's band concert.

She found a worm while digging... ew.

ENO love <3

Taking this guy for a walk always makes my day.

I've missed this place a lot.

Pottery Barn store. Get excited.

LOOK AT THAT CRAZY HAIR. LOOK AT IT.

My nails = awesome.

Haha you've gotta love the tension in the car of a parent trying to teach a teenager how to drive on the interstate.

St. Patty's Day was spent at the Biltmore. Can I just live there please?? It was AMAZING. Since interior design is what I'm studying, this was like a paradise. I was soooo nerdy though. In class, we're discussing different styles of furniture that mark time periods. In preparation for this trip, I made a check list... of furniture styles to look out for. Who, except for me, does that??

The Bass Pond at Biltmore.

I had an eye appointment during spring break, and I had to finally get glasses. I don't think I've had a new pair since I got contacts in like the sixth grade.

They're getting so big! I bought a couple more! Now we have Forget-Me-Nots, Strawberries, more Strawberries, Sunflowers, and Daisies, respectably!! So excited for one to finally bloom!

An update to end all updates.

Hello, my lovelies.
I am SO sorry I haven't blogged pretty much the entirety of February. BUT I promise that I will be back again March 1st. That is my goal. During my accidental hiatus, I also have failed to read daily (this is your time to chide me). So, my goal is to catch up on reading and return to all of you lovely people in March 1st. Please, hold me too that. And also, forgive me for all of this. Though to be fair, I did warn you at the beginning that something like this would probably happen. But I'm trying to get on track, so bear with me please!

<3 MG

Walk 32

Oh man,

I'm going to have a really hard time now numbering these posts.

Well,

until I open up my Bible.

I'm so used to just naming the walk whatever the date is,

but now I can't do that.

Today is February 1st, 

but Walk 32.

This is going to mess me up.

Good things on the 1st of February:

•  Feeling like I did pretty good on my Stats quiz.
• Drinking some Cranberry Pomegranate Green Tea on my way to speech class today. I like that stuff! However, I always end up letting it steep too long and it gets SUPER bitter.
• Getting to be the receptionist ALL afternoon today. I don't know why they let me do that, because I'm not a very good receptionist. Ha, I either redirect all my questions to someone else, or tell the person that I just straight up don't know. But it's still fun! Also, I made random videos to send to Josh! By the way, they're extra creepy and weird!
• Drawing the official beginning pages of the coloring book I told my friends Celeste and Paige that I would send them... LAST SEMESTER. Yeaah, I gotta get on that.
• Going to Mondo Subs on campus and running into my friends Rachel, Mandy, and Laura. It was nice to eat with them :)
• After struggling with the internet, it finally decided to actually connect and work after about 9 p.m.

Guys,

my flower pot things that I bought

aren't sprouting yet.

Should I be worried?

Does it have something to do with them being from the dollar section?

Probably.

Let's not tell them that though.

Okay,

seriously,

I have been listening to this song

all afternoon.

I think it is absolutely 

ab-

so-

freaking-

lutely

gorgeous.

I think,

I think I want to dance to this at my wedding.

You know,

the bride and groom's first dance?

Wouldn't that be the most

romantic

gorgeous 

scene 

you could ever imagine

beholding?

It  better be,

because it is for me.

And yes, 

I like Glee.

This song was on a couple episodes ago.

I loved it then,

and I love it now.

I know I tell you this a lot,

but 

please

please 

please 

listen to it.

For me?

Guess what!!

We've made it to Leviticus! 

This is probably the most of the Bible I've ever read, sadly.

But it's good that I'm doing it now!

So in Walk 32

God describes how He wants the Israelites to make sacrifices to Him.

I guess it's interesting,

but to me it's a little sickening 

because of all the descriptions of the parts of animals that had to be cleaned and cut and killed, etc.

 But I liked one quote from the devotional part of it:

"A drop of praise is unsuitable acknowledgement for an ocean of mercy."

 I really like that.

It reminds me that

the Israelites had to give these complicated sacrifices/offerings,

because it was their way of expressing more than just a drop of praise.

The devotion of going through the process of killing and cleaning the animal,

and then picking out the part for the altar 

show the dedication that they needed to have to God.

It sets a good example 

for us to give more than just the minimum in praising and sacrificing to God.

<3MG

Walk 31

Tuesdays are BCM days!

It makes me really happy to be going to a Tuesday night worship thing again.

Well,

really,

I just like to worship God. :)

SO,

we sang this.

It is

by far

one of my favorites.

I have loved it,

I think,

since my church first did it at Easter last year.

SOOOOO
AMAZING.

If you did not click,

you are a loser.

Good things on the 31st of January:

My perfect Chem quiz!

•  Doing really well on my first Chemistry quiz. 105 BABY!
• Having yet another easy day of work.
• Doing my stats homework. Honestly, I detest stats. But doing the homework was a good thing because I finally got it done instead of procrastinating on it.
• Going to Common Ground (the BCM Tuesday night worship). It was in Derryberry Hall tonight instead of actually at the BCM. It was a different, yet fun experience!

So Walk 31

was all basically a big summary of the past few days of reading.

Well,

actually,

it was about Moses telling the Israelites God's instructions

and them setting up the Tabernacle.

So,

basically a repeat/summary.

However, 

one thing that struck me

was the Israelites generosity.

If you remember,

I told you some time ago

that tithing is/will be an issue that I'll have to conquer.

In the final parts of Exodus,

the Israelites had to be told to stop giving God their supplies and money,

because the builders were receiving too much.

Isn't that awesome?

Shouldn't we all be like that?

So willing and wanting to give of our resources to the church,

that we have to be told to stop.

That would be amazing.

And honestly,

it doesn't even have to be money or material supplies.

God wants us to give our time,

love,

and prayers too.

Anything you can give that would be pleasing to God,

we should give it all to Him.

After all,

He does deserve it.

<3MG

Walk 30

Ooops...

I did it again...

Yeah, 

sorry,

I did it again. 

I forgot/ got to lazy

to blog. 

I'm a bad person,

I sowwwy :/

Forgive me?

Love me?

Okay.

I see how it is.

;)

Good things on the 30th of January:

•  Having an easy day of classes.
• Having an easy day of work.
• Not having an awful chemistry lab.
• Going to the school's art gallery for my art appreciation class. I really like art galleries. They're peaceful and moving. :)
• Playing racquetball with Savannah, Justin, and Travis. Well, we played for like 5 minutes but apparently someone had that court reserved and the others were full. So we ended up messing around the gym for like half an hour. Basically we played on the "rock wall".
• Josh and I posting ALL over each other's Facebook wall. Haha my brother and I are ridiculous :)

Yeah,

so my Ipod has been dying a lot this week.

Mainly,

because I keep forgetting to charge it fully.

So I don't have any pictures for January 30th.

I am,

yet again,

sorry.

So Walk 30 

was about 

"The Incident of the Golden Calf".

Basically,

while Moses was up on Mt. Sinai,

some of the Israelites decided that he had died.

So,

even though they had been instructed not to,

they decided to make a golden calf to worship to.

The calf god had been one of the Egyptian gods,

so they were referring to what they thought they knew.

When Moses returned to them,

he was so mad at them,

he broke the two stone tablets full of rules that God had given him.

Breaking the tablets

symbolized them breaking their covenant with God.

So,

Moses had to go back up the mountain 

and get new tablets and enter into a new covenant with God.

There was one sentence that kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

It was Exodus 33:3:

"'Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.'"

Like,

this sentence got me.

I wondered how God could be so...

cruel I guess.

I sent this message to my dad after I read it:

I'm still getting the impression that God is an angry, strict God. And it's still bothering me. Is it just because the Israelites are being really stupid that God has to be like this?

I didn't even wait for his response before I sent this:

I guess I get it though. I can relate it to myself. I understand God being frustrated with the Israelites. I mean, I get mad at Josh, Joel, and Chloe when they don't do what I tell them to do and want them to do, because I think I know it'll be good for them. God was doing the same thing with the Israelites. However God actually does know what's perfect for us and can see the best path when we can't. And I guess it makes Him really angry when we and the Israelites directly defy that and break promises we just recently made to God. Because He knows the best path for our lives but we think we know it, but really we don't.

 Yeah,

I know it kind of rambles.

But,

I guess I had a little breakthrough.

I understand why God was so upset with them,

that He thought He might destroy them if He had to continue on with them.

I kind of get the same way.

Sometimes,

I just want my siblings to do something so bad

because I think that I can see that it will better their lives.

However,

I come across bossy,

and they don't listen.

And honestly,

I just feel like slapping them in the face sometimes.

But God is the only one who knows what's best.

I guess He seems so severe to me,

because He is on 

so much more of a grander and majestic level than I could ever dream to be,

so naturally,

He needs a bigger reaction.

It makes sense,

to me at least.

<3MG

OH!

I KNOW WHAT WAS A GOOD THING I CAN POST.

MONDAYS CONTAIN NEW BLIMEY COW VIDEOS.

DO IT NOW.