Day 2

Oh my goodness...

I waited WAY too long to write this post today. And you want to know what I did today? 

Nothing.

Unless you count watching The Office all day long as something. Then I guess I did do something.

...

...

Nope....

that still counts as absolutely nothing.

I didn't even change out of my pj's.

I cause problems for myself. I like to be lazy and not do anything, yet by the end of the day I feel disgusting. I feel slothenly, completely unmotivated, and I have issues going to sleep because of my lack of activity. 

I could be a professional bum,

but that doesn't pay any future bills.

So I guess I should list the good things of today.

123...GO!:

• Mom fixing a nice breakfast consisting of eggs, turkey bacon, biscuits and gravy, and grapefruit.
• Doing Walk 2 in the Daily Walk Bible.
• Watching The Office through Netflix.

 See.

That list is ridiculously short.

I do believe that my list of good things should be longer than three items. That list up there ^ that's just pathetic. I like trying to commit to writing in this blog, because it makes me realize when I have completely wasted a day. Hopefully I will make tomorrow a better day.

From Paradise to Pain

That was the title of today's walk. It consisted of reading chapters 3, 4 & 5 of Genesis, which describe the fall of man. However, I think the verse that I really liked came from the little devotional part that's printed in the Bible. It referenced me to 2 Timothy 2:22  -

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

 

  The devotional referenced readers to this verse because the chapters we read today included the story of Cain killing his brother Abel. Instead of following God's advice and turning towards Him (God), Cain decided to pursue the anger and jealousy (sin) in his heart and kill his brother. This verse really sort of speaks to me though, and just reminds me that what I'm doing is right. 

Okay...

I don't want it to sound like I'm sanctimonious, so bear with me.

I don't cuss.

I don't do drugs.

I don't smoke cigarettes.

I don't even want to try alcohol.

I don't want to have nor do I plan on having sex until I'm married.

I choose these choices not just because I was raised to believe they're not right, but

honestly,

I have enough freaking problems to deal with in my life without doing the "normal" teenage/young adult thing and experimenting with these things and just causing myself more problems in the long run.

I understand that this makes me different from, well, pretty much 95% of people my age. No, that is not an actual statistic, but you get the point.

 

Can I tell you a secret though?

 

It's tough. 

It's not really tough when I'm sitting at home with my family. It's not even really that bad when I'm hanging out with friends that I know believe the same as me. 

It's just tough when I'm hanging out with people from high school, on breaks from college, and they're sitting there telling stories about doing some of these things and sometimes using inappropriate language.

It's not tough because I wish I could go be crazy too, but it's tough because I feel so out of place. I don't want to get drunk and get hungover, or have a crazy night and only remember half of it, or have to use vulgar language to make some joke funny. I have no desire whatsoever for that. 

I feel naive, 

innocent,

and... boring.

And I have to 

stop

and ask myself:

 

Since when did it become wrong to be innocent?

 

Why do I have to feel bad about wanting to be innocent and pure? Why, because I choose to not use bad language and because I choose not to drink alcohol, do I feel like I'm missing out?

 

Then I have to check myself and remind myself that I'm not missing out on anything. I love reading verses like that one I read this morning. Paul encourages us to forget the evil desires of youth. People always say that, when you're young, that's your time to experiment and be free and go wild. 

What if I don't want that?

What if what I want is to have a creative job and a family?

What if I don't want to party?

Sorry if that's...boring?

Sorry if I won't have stupid stories to try to hide from my kids until they're older?

I'm not sorry.

I'm just trying to be respectable.

I'm just trying to follow God's heart.

If I didn't have God and His word to turn to, then I would just feel lonely and sad.

Instead, I feel proud and hopeful.

Why hopeful?

Because I know that God has someone out there for me who's going to value my innocence one day.

And suddenly, not being normal doesn't seem that tough. 

At least when I'm focused on God, that is.

<3 MG